Campaign of the Month: February 2022
Dresden Files Accelerated: Emerald City: Requiem
Book 07: Chapter 02
The Otherworldy Sea
Transcribed by: Bradford
Date: October 24, 2021
In Game date: June 20, 2012
Episode: 38 (113)
Part 01: Fergus Mac Cormaic
When I woke up the morning of my wedding, I was hoping the worst that would happen was cold feet. Maybe the catering van would break down or a bridesmaid would wear white by mistake or the programs would misspell my family name. Something like that.
I never thought my wedding day would involve me having to track my cousin Nora and her sister, Fiona and save them from imminent danger. I also never thought that it would involve opening a Way to the Nevernever and stepping into parts unknown.
Why couldn’t it have been something simple?
We stepped through the portal and we found ourselves falling in darkness. More specifically, gravity seemed to be unsure which way was which for a while. It pushed and pulled us in all directions. It spread a decent bunch of vertigo on us.
Virgil must have been skydiving because he controlled his breathing as best I could tell. David being a golem didn’t breathe so he was ahead of the game there. I am not sure who screamed like a school child in that darkness…but no one can prove if it was me or all of us.
I reached out with my supernatural senses and tried to find my way in the dark. There was no light, all I felt was chaos. Pure chaos. But…an intelligence of some kind. Somehow familiar.
I reached out with my senses and I found something in the chaos. A single fixed point.
I grabbed that point…and the spinning stopped.
I landed on my stomach while Virgil and David landed on hands and knees. Or at least it sounded like they did. With the wonky gravity, I had no idea how far or fast we “fell”. But, at least we landed.
“Everybody alright?” I asked.
“I managed a decent landing.” David said.
Virgil grunted, “Just a tumble.”
I looked around and saw nothing. Pitch black. But nonetheless, there was something uncanny in the atmosphere. Something I could sense, but not put a name to.
I stood up and checked my pockets. I couldn’t remember if I had gotten that maglite keychain or not. Turns out, I hadn’t.
“Anybody got a light?” I asked.
Virgil answered by raising a playing card, and spoke a word like, “Illum” or something. The ten of diamonds glowed with power and created a magical light. It was barely torchlight, but it was enough for us to see what we had gotten ourselves into.
We all said the same thing more or less.
“What the fuck?”
We were in a chamber…but it was difficult to describe. It was volcanic, but also organic. It had barnacles on the walls, but they looked fossilized into stone. The place didn’t just look old. It looked ancient.
The uncanny atmosphere was giving me a pressure on my skull, but Virgil looked like he was having a migraine after looking for just a moment. David just stood as stone and examined the walls with clear focus.
“What the hell is this place?” I said.
“I don’t know, but the geometry would give Euclid a seizure.” Virgil said.
“You sense something, Virge?”
“Only that this place is a physical manifestation of absolute no. I am getting eldritch horror vibes.”
David looked on and rubbed his chin.
“Can you make anything of this David?” I asked.
“I see hyperdimensional symmetries. I see designs in these barnacles that look like Celtic knots. This place is old, but definitely from earth. Just not human.” David said calmly like he always did.
“How old?” I asked.
“Older than the pyramids, Fergus. Tens of thousands of years old.”
I pursed my lips and realized what I felt, “This place is carved out of pure chaos. It’s similar to fairy tales where you get lost forever.”
“That doesn’t sound good.” Virgil said, rubbing his temples, “What’s that mean for us?”
“This thing I grabbed was an anchor point of some kind, but this kind of place is pure chaos. This anchor is a tamed piece of chaos. Don’t go far from each other or you will get lost.”
“Can you get us back?”
“Yes. If we can get back to this anchor, I can get us back.” I said.
“Wonderful.” Virgil said, standing up, “You see anything else?”
I looked around and took in the space.
“Low ceilings. Various ways out.”
Then I felt it. What I was looking for.
“Airflow…a breeze. There’s a way out. Look for any traces of people coming this way.”
Part 02: David Clay
My eyes considered the empty chaos carefully. I ignored the non-Euclidean geometry and looked for clues. I took in the space.
Fergus was getting amped up, he might be able to find something, but was struggling. Virgil was being overwhelmed by the space. I could get a sense of what he must have been feeling, that aura of eldritch power to the place. Virgil was a man of thought, of intellect, a thinker and this place was the antithesis of structured thought.
I had to find something down there. So, I looked, listened, and felt starting with myself.
Although Fergus had described this place in terms of chaos, I felt something different. I felt…vitality. I felt like myself…
“I feel…invigorated by this place.” I said.
“Invigorated?” Fergus asked.
I looked down at my hands and changed them to the appearance I preferred. Soft hands. The kind a person needed to feel for trust and comfort. The hands I was used to.
“I think I can maintain my human form in this place.” I said.
“Can you hulk out or whatever?” Virgil asked. He was trying to look at the floor to avoid the aura.
“If I did, I am uncertain if I could return to human form.” I answered.
“Only change if you absolutely need to.” Fergus said, “You don’t want to ruin that suit.”
I looked around and searched for answers, “I have an extra in my car.”
Virgil managed a laugh and stood up, “Man after my own heart.”
I found what I was looking for and kneeled down briefly. Virgil followed me with his light.
There was mud on the floor. Mud in the shape of a human footprint.
“Size 14 boots.” I confirmed, “Someone was here.”
Fergus followed the footprint and found other marks.
“Someone was dragged…” Fergus said.
We stopped on drops away from the mud.
Virgil looked down at it, “Blood.”
“We must go. These tracks were recent.” I said.
“Stay close to me or you’ll get lost.” Fergus said.
“Lead the way, Ferg.” Virgil said and put his hand on Fergus’ shoulder.
“We should mark our trail.” I suggested, “give us a way back to follow.”
Virgil reached into his front pocket and pulled out a bar of fluorescent chalk.
“Got it covered.”
We continued through the darkness and followed the trail. We followed the blood, the mud and the breeze that Fergus had picked up on.
We would go a hundred feet and Virgil would mark the way with chalk. We would find a passage and Virgil would mark the way.
We went like that for what felt like an hour but by my estimation was a few minutes.
Eventually, we found light and went outside to a dusky sky over a precipice.
I have never been to Ireland, but I have seen photographs of the countryside. We stood over cliffs that reminded me of Ireland. The cliff descended about three hundred feet below us to the waterline of an alien ocean. We were on the cliff shores of some kind of island in the middle of some kind of ocean. Behind us, I could see that the cliff had grown over the castle we had come out of along with an abundance of untamed nature. In the distance, I could barely make out a whole chain of islands, although they almost seemed to move and shift on their own. Never staying in one place.
In the Nevernever, you could find anything; and this was not the strangest part of the Nevernever by any means.
So, it did not surprise me when I looked past the cliffs and saw a giant wading through the waters below. The giant rose at least a hundred feet out of the water from its knees and there was no telling how deep the water went.
The giant had a single eye with many lids holding it shut.
The giant had a sense of menace. A presence we could all feel.
Virgil’s face quivered as he took in the sights “Is that a…cyclops?”
“No.” I said, “That is a God.”
The God didn’t seem to notice us. Perhaps the same way a human wouldn’t notice an ant in their home unless there were a lot of them.
I looked around us and heard a sound behind us. The sound of cows.
More specifically, they were bulls twenty feet tall at the shoulder, but without horns. The bulls were drinking out of a river of acid.
All of this together, I could deduce where we were or at least where I thought we were.
“I think I know this place.” I said, “This is the Otherworldy Sea.”
Part 03: Fergus Mac Cormaic
The Otherwordly Sea. I think David made my heart stop for a whole minute when he said the name. Every faerie knew it.
It was described as a supernatural ocean with hundreds of islands that seemed to move and shift at random. It is said that is it impossible for anyone to navigate the Otherwoldly Sea without getting lost. Supposedly the ocean will intentionally confuse and mislead visitors who are not given specific directions by the sea god, Manana Mac Lir himself. But that was just the version given to mortals.
It is a region that drifts through time and space. A vast ocean dotted with random islands. Home to legendary places such as Tir na nOg, Mag Mell, and Emain Ablach. Supernatural realms of everlasting youth, beauty, health, abundance, and joy.
If you could somehow find them.
“This is a pretty famous place in Irish Mythology.” I said.
Virgil nodded, seemingly shaking off the weirdness of the place. “So, who’s the biggen?”
“Either Balor or one of his offspring.” I confirmed.
We watched the giant wade through the water. He either didn’t notice us or didn’t care.
“Well, as long as he stays down there.” Virgil said, “What’s with the moo cows?”
I shrugged, “Bulls. Celtic mythology is weird. They drink out of a river of acid.”
“This place is a point in favor of Tad the Trickster being behind the pranks.” David said.
“Tad is the least of our worries.” I said.
The oppressiveness of this place was dragging on my wyld side.
“We should go back. Come back with a rocket launcher or something.” Virgil suggested.
But then I saw the trail. There were five or six big footprints dragging at least one person. There was a little bit of blood too.
“Found the trail again.” I said.
“Time is of the essence,” David confirmed.
“Well then.” Virgil said, straightening his suit, “We have a wedding to get you back to. We’ll move the heavens to do it.”
“I appreciate that, “I said, “Stay close to me…and watch for cow pies. They’re acidic.”
We followed the trail together and did our best to maneuver around the land’s bovine overlords. I hadn’t been kidding about the cow pies. Not only did they smell bad, when they came out of the bulls, but they were also the size of a motorcycle.
Virgil held his nose, and looked like he didn’t have any magic to ward off the smell.
“I think I’m gonna burn this suit when we get back.” Virgil said.
We could see some rocky roads and some shelter near the cliff, but the trail led us towards some creeks made by the acid river.
As the trail started getting fresher, I dropped into a stalking crouch. The fog of the region started to overtake us. It gave us some natural cover, but if we lost our way, we could get separated.
Then, I heard the voices. There were two of them just ahead. The voices were a disgusting croak that only barely resembled English.
“What are they gonna do wit her?” One voice said.
“Probably eat her.” The other said, “Would go great with some sauce.”
I gave hand signals to the others. Virgil picked up on it immediately and disappeared into the mists at the same time as I did. I did my best to stay in the mists. Together with my other abilities, I could be practically invisible here.
As the voices got closer, we could finally make them out. The Fomor had many minions. Most of them had a fishlike appearance and ventured towards the missing link between human and fish. These two minions looked less like the Gillman and more like a fish that just grew arms and legs.
The pair of them looked like guards. They had some kind of weapons made of coral on their hips, but they hadn’t drawn them yet.
“You overspice everythin’. Learn to cook!”
“I’d like to see you fuckin’ learn. You never make anythin’. You always order out.”
“Seamus makes some great dire mutton.”
“I hate mutton. It tastes like piss.”
“The lady won’t taste like piss, that’s fo sure…”
Then, I heard a voice I didn’t expect.
David had stopped in front of the Fomor in his human form. “Are you two discussing a lady in trouble?”
Part 04: Virgil Gugasian
As the member of our group newest to the supernatural, I knew I still had a lot to learn. Wizards. Vampires. Wars between wizards and vampires. One-eyed gods out of Celtic myth. I could accept that these things were real. But, it is one thing to know that something exists and to see it with your own eyes.
Jack and Fergus had told me about the Fomor. Even Taka the asshole took me aside and briefed me on the weird fishpeople and how dangerous they were. He told me in no uncertain terms what they did with magic users they managed to take alive.
After a while, you just have to go with it and use what you know.
When we had dropped into this weird place, the aura of chaos had overstimulated my meager magical senses. When Fergus guided us through the darkness, I had to shift into a pure survival mode. I kept apprised of what few resources I had and made a plan for just the next few steps.
So, when two fishmen came towards us, I decided to just go with it.
I didn’t need to look for Fergus’ signal. I moved into the mists and used it like a soldier would a piece of defilade. I stalked and just kept my eyes ready.
I waited for my moment.
Then, the fucking golem decided to talk to them.
“Are you two discussing a lady in trouble?” David said. I wasn’t sure if he was confident, brave or just didn’t care about the danger of approaching two fishmen with seahorse-looking clubs at their hips like pistols.
Whatever those weapons were, I knew I needed to get them away from the minions. With this mist, I might be able to do it. David might provide the right distraction.
The two fomor stood their ground and gnarled their teeth at David.
“The fuck are you?”
“I am David Clay. I want to get my acquaintances home.”
“What do ya think you can do, ya fuckin’ muppet?”
But, Fergus was faster than me. Fergus was faster than everybody.
He ran past them like the Roadrunner and slowed down just long enough for them to be able to see him.
“Over here!” He shouted and ran back into the mist.
The fomor turned to try and track the leprechaun. When they readied their attacks, David used the opportunity to stick out a foot between them at just the right moment and knocked one into the other.
The two minions fell over in a heap of intertwined limbs. They were about as distracted as they could get. That was when I made my move.
Most of the time, I don’t use guns. Guns are loud. Guns are imprecise. Guns are dangerous. Guns get the book thrown at you. Worse, guns make you stupid. I prefer weapons and tools that are more versatile and concealable. My favorite kinds of tools were ones that could be disguised or could blend in with a variety of fashion options. The best ones are the tools that can do all of that and easily get past airport security, especially nowadays post 9/11.
When I discovered the supernatural, I also found that I needed a weapon that I could use in a pinch and could make out of a variety of materials. Materials such as cold iron, which was the bane of faeries and the like. Touch a faerie with cold iron, it might as well be made of white-hot metal or something.
The weapon I drew in the mists was all of those things, at least until I could find something better. It was the magic 8-ball pocket watch I always kept in a pocket, on a backpack, or hanging from a belt. The watch portion is just some mechanical piece of shit I stuck onto it. It can’t keep time worth a damn. The 8-ball was in actuality a variant of a DIY weapon called a Thunderball.
Take a billiard ball, drill a hole in the top and thread some paracord through it in a knotted weave with a few adjustments and mounts for balance and such. This really simple device resembles a flail or a mace and once you get the hang of it is deceptively fast, versatile, and hits hard. You wouldn’t think it would, but a billiard ball weighs about 80 ounces and paracord is at least 550 pound test. Because it’s small, you can fit it in a pocket. With the watch portion added, the folks in blue won’t even confiscate it most of the time even if it sets off a metal detector.
When you use a billiard ball to make one, it is made out of acrylic, which is also more durable than you’d think. But you could make a Thunderball out of all kinds of cost-effective materials. The personal variation I kept with me most of the time was made from a chrome steel ball-bearing that cost about $25. Less if you bought them in bulk.
When the fomor landed in a heap, I grabbed the paracord, twirled it for some momentum, and slammed my Thunderball into the Fomor minions a few times. Being in a heap like they were, they couldn’t dodge and made their bones crunch from the force.
My question about whether fomor were vulnerable to iron was answered when in addition to the crack of bone I saw their flesh burst into flames on impact with the steel.
After a few whacks, they stopped moving but seemed to be unconscious, not dead.
Fergus walked over to me and raised an eyebrow at my surprisingly effective Thunderball.
“Pays to be prepared.” I said.
Fergus took a step back, “Keep that thing away from me.”
I put my Thunderball back in my pocket and knelt down to the fallen fomor. I reached for the seahorse weapons and tried to lift one. It fired off a stream of acid that ate away some nearby rock. The acid smelled the same as the river we had passed.
I stood up and took a step back, “David, why don’t you handle that?”
David nonchalantly tied the minions’ up with their own shoestrings and further bound them with their own belts. Then he just ripped the weapons off their belts and threw them off to the side with more force than I ever could.
“The girls must be close.” Fergus said.
“Let’s find them.” I said and we continued our journey. It was no longer dusk.
We continued together across the… moors I guess you’d call them. We could see the tracks getting fresher, which meant we were getting closer.
We were stopped by howling unlike anything we had ever heard before. I had heard the sounds of big dogs before. These were not normal hunting dogs. This was the sound of an animal from some prior age or something.
“I’m getting a shiver up my spine.” I admitted.
“Me too.” David said, “And I don’t even have a spine…”
Fergus decided we were close enough, so he dropped a veil on top of us. The light around us gained a haze and the sound of our footsteps beneath our feet softened and distorted.
We crested a hill and found our quarry and holy shit, we found the dogs.
There were four of them. They were dogs made of flesh and muscle in lieu of fur. They had massive fangs extruding from their bottom lip and had spiked collars of some kind of leather.
“Barghests…” Fergus confirmed, “Very dangerous.”
The owners of the evil doggos were a group of six of those fomor minions standing around without a formation. Above them towered an eight-foot fomor brute of a servitor dressed in ill-fitting fisherman’s clothes and a fuckugly sweater. At least he had a fisherman’s sweater to complete the look. He also wore very shiny silver gloves.
The servitor seemed to be doing his own thing, which was gathering the acid from a nearby creek. I guess that’s where they got their ammo from.
Off to the side was a third formor who stood with arms crossed. He looked important and seemed to be bossing the rest around, so I guessed he was the leader.
The boss fomor stood next to a stone table with a bowl-like dip in the center. The bowl had a stain that could only have been blood and the table was surrounded by posts at each cardinal point of a compass.
At one of the posts was tied a red-haired woman who looked beat to hell.
“Nora…” Fergus confirmed.
I looked around. “No sign of the other girl.”
I also saw some bound packages next to the altar or whatever it was.
I sighed and admitted to Fergus and myself what I was seeing.
“That is a ritual space. There is no sign of Fiona. I hope they haven’t already sacrificed her…”
Part 05: Fergus Mac Cormaic
My heart ached at the sight of my cousin tied to a post. My wyld power raged. I got a level of pissed off you can only get to when someone messes with your family.
“There are too many of them.” David said calmly.
I looked to the fomor and took in the situation tactically.
“These guys took out Nora. We should be careful.” I admitted.
“Is Nora tough?” Virgil asked.
“Brigitte, goddess of the forge, poetry and war once said that Nora has the blood of ancient heroes in her veins.” I said, “She’s kind of badass actually. She may be mortal, but I have seen her take down angry Ogres with her bare hands."
“So, these guys are no pushover if they captured her and her sister…”
“Fiona,” I whispered. “Fiona is just a kid, but she is also the daughter of Brigitte and formidable in her own right.”
“Any ideas?” I asked. I was planning to just rush in and snatch Nora out of there if David hadn’t tapped me on the shoulder and pointed behind us.
“Stampede?” David said.
I grinned, “That’ll work. Get ready.”
Is it weird that despite the circumstances and the fact my cousin’s life was on the line that I felt like a kid in that moment? I snuck up the hill on tippy toes and started to gather the…Bulls of Unusual Size. At first, they didn’t want to move.
Then, I threw a rock at just the right one. The bull kicked one of his friends. One kick led to another. Then another.
The cows started charging.
As Kevin Bacon once asked, I don’t know how many cows are required for a stampede. But, these cows were twenty feet tall at the shoulder, so three were more than enough for our needs.
With my natural speed and grace, I did my best Legolas impersonation and leaped onto the back of one of the charging cattle. I manifested the sword of the guardian, my holy weapon as a shillelagh, and raised it to the sky. I couldn’t help it.
“Hi-Yo, Silver!” I shouted.
While I was so high up, I could also see someone else off to the side. Fiona was hiding in the bushes. Clearly, she had gotten away somehow. She looked scared out of her mind even after she saw me on the back of a twenty-five-foot cow.
She managed a smile and waved before ducking back into her hiding place. Fiona was smart enough to stay where it was safe.
With both of our targets accounted for, I focused on the fight and led the stampede on in. David seemed to be falling behind and Virgil seemed to be focused, so I had to go on ahead. I aimed my bull straight for Nora. That meant I’d have to tangle with the big brute of a Servitor.
As the bulls reached the Fomor, I heard one of them cry out.
“Look out, Lord Bagna!”
They were obviously talking about the leader, so we had a name. Lord Bagna.
The bulls ran down at least one Fomor and knocked another off their feet. The Barghests took an immediate interest in the bulls and chased after them like a speeding car.
When I got close enough, I launched myself off the bull. I flipped in midair and slammed the Servitor across the face with my shillelagh. My blow shattered the fish thing’s jaw, but didn’t lay him out.
Lord Bagna pointed straight at me with his fish eyes and shouted, “How dare you interrupt our ceremony!”
The fishman gathered power and threw some magic at me. The spell was some kind of weird-looking goop that appeared out of thin air. I was faster though and dodged past the bolt of god-knows-what.
The goop hit the ground and made it just disappear as though it were negative reality.
Then the servitor regenerated his broken jaw and looked at me ready to fight. It charged me.
Part 06: Virgil Gugasian
Without many weapons at my disposal, I had to improvise. When I saw this Lord Bagna character throw power at us, that meant I was going to need to use my magic.
My magical specialty was Kleptomancy, the stealing of magical power from the environment. I could do a number of things with it including mimicking spells. I could also just draw in power from my environment and store it up to charge me with power.
Drawing power is a necessity because of my limited talent but can still be dangerous. Draw in the wrong kind of power and it could do I don’t know what to me.
But, with two innocents in danger, I decided I could risk it.
I started by standing my ground and emptied my lungs of air. I reached out with my senses and began to draw in not just air, but power. I had never done this in the Nevernever and I should have known better. This place itself was power.
Power of vitality. Power of chaos. Power of structure. The power made my hair turn greasy like I had used too much mousse or something. It gave me goosebumps.
Then the headache hit. Pain came with the power. It felt like a claymore mine exploded in my face. Light and energy exploded out from me, barely contained. It took a chunk out of me. I decided to divert the excess into the charging bulls and that just spurred them onward.
But, I had gathered power. I could hold onto it for only a blast or two, but it would be a doozy. It would have to be enough.
While I gathered power, Fergus engaged the eight-foot Servitor. David caught up with us and started to engage the minions with his fists.
Then Lord Bagna turned towards me and loosed another entropy bolt.
I held up my hand and disrupted the blast. My tank was full, so I couldn’t gather more power and I didn’t want to risk exhaustion to copy it just yet.
Lord Bagna looked at me with evil intent.
“What are you?” The fomor sorcerer croaked, “I’m going to have to bring you to my master!”
I did not want to be taken by the fishpeople, so I decided to run towards him.
“Take this instead, fishman!” I shouted.
I gathered the magic I had stored and began to work it. Since Lord Bagna had been using water magic in the form of entropy, I decided to counter with earth magic in the form of gravity.
I used my stored power from that weird-ass place and channeled it into my Thunderball. The power created a gravity spike around the chrome steel. I wasn’t sure if the ball would hold, but I was going to find out.
I swung my ball and tried for some magical words, but it came out as gobblygook. I wasn’t used to working this much power at once, so I flubbed the casting.
Lord Bagna put up some kind of watery shield and it met my gravity mace with equal power. The fomor’s shield shattered and I staggered him, but it didn’t do as much as I hoped. Thankfully, I didn’t deplete my magic with that attack.
Then, I heard the Barghests. Those big bastards howled and with it let out an omen of death. It stopped my heart for a bit and I barely held onto my stored power.
Those doggos would be a problem. But, one problem at a time.
At some point, I saw David engage the minions next to me and saw that he was overwhelmed. I decided to help him out, so I tried my gravity mace spell again and aimed it at the minions.
I swung and the mace burst in the faces of the minions. It blew them off their feet and back away from David and I. It didn’t reduce their number, but it was an impressive display.
I had lost my stored power…but my Thunderball hadn’t broken.
I swung my weapon over my head in circles and stood my ground against the minions as they got back to their feet.
“Bring it!” I said.
Part 07: David Clay
The vitality of the Otherworldy Sea seemed to have alleviated some of the damage the Patient One had wrought upon my body. But, I knew that if I drew upon my power, I would be unable to retain human form. Not only would that make it impossible for me to look human at the wedding without a glamour, but the increase in size would also ruin my tux.
So, I ran into the fray of Fomorians, dogs, and cattle of unusual size with my bare fists.
I ran first for the Servitor who had engaged Fergus. His ability to regenerate would be a problem. I could see that he was properly distracted between fighting with Fergus, healing his broken jaw, and the cattle still on the stampede.
Even in just this reduced human form, I could throw a decent punch. So, I threw a haymaker into the back of the eight-foot Servitor’s head.
My punch knocked the Servitor over and smashed his face into the ground. I heard the sound of his nose breaking and left that fight to Fergus.
Then the Barghests let out their roar and it shook me to my core. I drew on my faith and stood my ground against the monsters.
I punched one barghest and kicked another into the Stone Table, breaking its neck as it hit.
The minions came at me, but I remembered the Krav Maga I had studied and flowed with their blows. I backhanded one minion away and punched another.
When the barghests came at me again, I threw down on them, but they rolled against my blows and blocked with flesh and teeth.
Part 08 Fergus Mac Cormaic
The oversized fisherman charged towards me with reckless abandon. Before it could reach me, David’s fist met the Servitor’s skull and must have given him a concussion.
The Servitor fell forward to the ground with a weighty crunch. When it stood up, I could see that the fall had broken its nose.
He was ugly before, but he was even uglier now.
And his head was at just the right height.
I raised my shillelagh and did my best to channel David Ortiz from the Red Sox.
I swung my club at the fishman and cracked his head open. Fishy blood flew into my grinning face. The swing had fractured the Fomor’s skull.
The Servitor took one last look at me in a rictus grin.
“Death for the master!” He croaked out with blood.
I silenced him with another home run swing, knocking him to the ground again.
I held my bloodied shillelagh to the sky and shouted, “And he hits it outta the park!”
My revelry was interrupted by the Barghests, who let out their otherworldly roar that was an omen of death. A wave of despair flowed across me and I questioned my own mortality for the first time that day.
Then, the Fomor minions came at me. They swiped at me with their weird weapons, but I was faster. I danced around their blows and returned with blows of my own.
I amped up my speed and go into the zone as I worked my way through the minions towards my cousin, still bound to the pole next to the table.
The Servitor got to his feet again and took a swing at me, but I was so fast I could see it coming. I ducked under the swing and got into the Fomorian’s face. I slowed down just enough for his good eye to see my face.
“Boo!” I shouted.
The surprise unbalanced the already punchdrunk Servitor and I swung my shillelagh again. This time, I aimed at the side of his skull I hadn’t fractured. Whack!
Remember the movie Alien when Ripley smacks Ash’s android head off his shoulders and crushes it? My blow did something like that to the Servitor and covered me in fishy blood.
I saw a flash of magic and saw Virgil going toe to toe with Lord Bagna with that crazy eight ball of his. The homemade mace staggered the Fomorian Sorcerer and turned his face to me. He saw me standing over the brains of the Servitor on the ground and my shillelagh ready for another few runs.
I think this was when Lord Bagna rethought his life choices.
“Save your Lord!” Lord Bagna croaked in a high-pitched voice and began running away like a scared child.
The Barghest took that as a signal to charge me, so I leaped right over them. The massive hounds hadn’t expected my speed, so they did a pratfall right next to me.
“Coward!” I screamed at Lord Bagna, “Get back here!”
I could see him working a veil to conceal himself. With this mist, he would get away so I ran at him. I readied my shillelagh…and was promptly clotheslined by one of the Fomorian minions I had forgotten about.
I flipped over and fell to the ground on my back. The Minions dogpiled me and beat me in a growing clump of fishmen. I think they were trying to expose me so the Barghests could go for my throat.
Then Virgil entered the fray and use some kind of weird fucking magic. The clump of fishmen exploded and it knocked the whole group to and frow. Virgil stood over them with his eight ball and twirled it in the air.
“Bring it!” He shouted. I followed him by doing a kippup and making ready for some more mayhem.
But, I guess the fomor decided that their master had the right idea. They ran away in all directions away from us.
I tried looking for Lord Bagna, but he had gotten away. Damn.
I went to Nora and freed her. She was messed up and bloody.
“It’ll be okay, Nora. We got you.” I said.
Virgil and David stepped in to catch her and started to see to her injuries. She had a pretty nasty head wound.
David examined her and began to bandage her with some twigs and some of Virgil’s paracord.
“She is deeply concussed, but stable.” David said as he clinically bandaged the girl.
“We need to get her to a hospital,” Virgil said.
At that point, Fiona decided to come out from hiding and gave me a leaping hug. If it hadn’t been for my powers, she would have knocked me off my feet. She cried into my shoulder.
“Are you alright?” I said as I hugged her back.
Fiona responded going a mile a millisecond. She spoke faster than I could keep up with.
“I was so scared. They came out of nowhere and they beat Nora and they took us. She fought back long enough for me to get away but they said they were going to sacrifice us on the table…I was so scared!”
Her cries slowed down when she started hyperventilating. She was clearly traumatized.
I reached for my water bottle and let Fiona drink from it. It seemed to calm her.
“Did you hear them say anything else?” I asked.
“There was a girl who called us meatbags.” She said.
I decided to mentally file that detail away for later.
“You’re okay now.” I said.
I checked my comrades. Virgil seemed untouched, but the barghests had torn through David’s tux. The golem dusted himself off and looked at the damage.
“I have an extra one in my car.” He said.
“But that’s the one I made for you.” I said, “It’s Anna’s favorite color.”
“Better I wear a black suit than not go to the wedding.”
Virgil looked at the blood covering me and nodded, “You were lucky we came here before you changed.”
I was lucky. I was still in my workout gear from my run earlier, so a quick shower would take care of things.
David looked down at the table and then to Virgil.
“May I borrow your…” David said, reaching out a hand.
“Thunderball.” Virgil said, “Go ahead. I was thinking the same thing.”
David took the paracord and swung the Thunderball with more force than any human could manage. The ball bearing shattered on an invisible shield. The table was untouched by the force.
Virgil looked at the shattered weapon and then at the table, “That thing is beyond mortal comprehension.”
“Sorry about your weapon,” David said.
“I got a box of them in my car. Let’s get out of here.” Virgil said, “We have a wedding to get to.”
David picked up Nora in a carry and Virgil grabbed one of the boxes of ritual materials from next to the table.
We made our way back to the castle and then to stone. We made it back to my wedding….